Today, I remembered when...

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wizfrikiman's avatar
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...I used to put actual effort into my art.

It seems that, when I bought a new laptop, a better Wacom tablet, more hard disks and I got a faster Internet connection, I became lazier and lazier.

The breaking point came in 2010, when I was rejected from a dA group, because my art didn't meet their criteria. I hadn't felt this sad since I first bought an issue of ImagineFX. I'm not good enough for them. But, I'm trying to get better, I used to say. I was overwhelmed. I knew it's not impossible to become better. It just felt like too much work, and I already was in a pretty bad emotional state due to several friendships falling apart (a few months later, many were destroyed). Then, I fell apart.

It took me a lot of time to rebuild myself from scratch. I figured it out, eventually, but I still didn't do much about getting better at art. My output since then became more and more sparse. You must be wondering why I'm so upset about "getting better". Well, I have so many unfinished concepts that I feel too inexperienced to fully flesh out. Plus, I'm broke, and living with my parents. Art is all I've got left, and I barely touch it nowadays.

I remembered when I used to have fun making art.

I still struggle with these issues. But, these days, I've been feeling an urge to return, ignited by what felt like a sudden jolt.

I will make my dreams come true.
© 2013 - 2024 wizfrikiman
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CaseyCorrupted's avatar
"I will make my dreams come true."

Now THAT'S the spirit! No matter how often you find yourself in doubt, or how much trouble you seem to be having. . . just having that little voice at the back of your mind saying otherwise is all that you need.

I totally get where you're coming from, though - being prevented from doing what you love can be more devastating than most people realize.