Well, what do you know? I'm back.

No, I wasn't fooling around when I announced my departure last week; I actually believed it. Although I had no intentions of qutting being a deviant, something pushed me to write that journal entry and set my status to Invisible.

Last week, I would often check my profile without logging in, just to read your comments. Was that the reason? Did I leave just to hear you say, "don't leave!"? Or did I really think that I can't be a deviant anymore?

Something's going on with my head, I'm sure about that. I'm not losing my sanity or anything (quite sure about that, too). Two weeks ago, I could see nothing but question marks. Now, I can't see anything at all.

For example, a (false?) observation that I'm gradually losing everything I stand for day by day would show up frequently during last weekend. It was quickly wiped out when my friends and I went on a picnic on Monday. And yet the confusion remains, even after holding on to me for quite a frustratingly long period of time.

One could ascribe the above to the simple fact that I'm experiencing the inescapable growing pains of maturity. I mean, I became an adult less than two years ago. As days go by, my subconscious is brought closer to pessimism, forced to smell the decomposition of pointless worries. Still, there's no excuse for me to complain about it; I'm still young.

So far, adulthood has been a bit hard on the frikiman, while adolescence still leaves a few scars whenever it gets its chance. It's going to take more than a few months before the fears of teen life wash off completely, I'm afraid. Anyway, it would be silly to try to fight what everyone goes through at least once in their lives, and just deal with the whole mess my mind is.

I'm tired.